The Sober Life

noun singular proper noun: Jib A little known alleyway or pathway that connects two existing routes. Limited commonality as it is only known and shared by a few.  To move in the most efficient manner through a busy city.              e.g. Let’s take the Jib behind Waterstones verb Verb: To jib,  e.g. “Hang fire I’m jibbing all the way” Origin Late 1980’s The Bradshaw Brothers       The bus heaved itself around the corner of Portland Street on its way to Piccadilly bus station in the cold late morning of Christmas Eve 1988.  It was laden with an elite squadron of lost souls primed to attack their town armed with the last paycheck before the big day. There was only one mission, to find something, buy it,  wrap it and stick it under the tree at home then allow some spurious bastard called Santa Claws to take all the credit. Looking through the poorly scribbled happy faces on an upstairs window of...

     You last found me prancing around topiary versions of giant smiling Pacman heads, throwing petals over my shoulder that transformed into butterflies before they hit the ground. I had spent a month and a half off booze and was convinced I would stay this happy forever in the pink cloud. Well you guessed it I didn’t look where I was going and ended up feeling like I had just walked off the side of a cliff. For no reason that I can pinpoint my mood changed and I was outflanked by sadness. The first day after posting th e last blog I felt a little numb. Things weren’t right but things weren’t bad. The second day three lots of exercise had only generated enough endorphin s to fill a gnat’s thimble. HITT training followed by an hour of yoga followed by a 25 mile bike ride. There was nothing. My superstition started to kick in and I thought by posting a Blog about how happy I was I had basically laid down the gauntlet to the universe to do its worse. And thank you the next ...

      There a quote it goes something like this “The minute you think you're over your addiction your addiction is doing press-ups”  This is effectively what they mean when they talk about the “ Pink Cloud ". The term is mainly associated with Alcoholics Anonymous and their legendary twelve step program. It refers to a euphoric state in the early stages of recovery when your mind becomes clear and the future looks bright. The effects of whatever you were taking is out of your system and you have stabilised your thoughts. The danger of the pink cloud is that it can mask actual recovery and can lead you to become complacent about the challenges you may face.   I am extremely happy now I do not think I am overselling it, but i f I did move through a more euphoric phase it was to do with the relisation I no longer had to make a decision about drinking anymore. Do you know how good that feels? It was such a bloody relief that I no longer had to listen to my own ...

                                             “I knew have should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque”  Bugs Bunny I guess we all know what triggers are. They are like the flush of feeling you get when you come across an old photo you haven’t seen for a while. You get lost for a split second and are transported into the past. It is the same for me but triggers don’t just hang around in draws. They ride on people’s voices, they surf on arguments, they explode in party poppers and resonate in the bells of celebrations. In themselves these shadows of former feelings do not offer a direct threat to my sobriety. The problem is when they remind me of previous reactions and responses, this can lead to a manifestation in the here and now. Old responses quickly excuse current actions and future projections.  I know I need to tune in as in the distance the alarm bells ...

So Long Bounty Bars Hello Drunk Tank. So awareness brings on a new focus. It feels like when you see one ant on the floor and then check again, refocus and it is in fact there is a ton of ants and they are everywhere. Alcohol is everywhere. It’s on TV, Instagram, Billboards, magazines and pictures of your mates on Facebook. Everyday there has been a Covid article on broadcast news where people are bemoaning the loss of an hour of drinking or an article about another pub that may be forced to close. No one wants redundancies and bless all those in hospitality at the moment. I am not a zealot that wants this all shut down because I “can’t enjoy myself anymore”, but all we are doing is underlining the pedaling of the last legal drug as the best thing any of us can think of doing.  I have personally found the pubs the safest places to be since the lifting of lockdown apart from my own home. You have to log in there; they keep you under control and for the most part and have been one of...