The Sober Life

Before I know it is gone from my sight Like a Willow the Wisp or a thief in the night It’s dipped down an alley just around the next corner I give chase as it is not much further I am closer now  than any time before I will be closer still when I get through this door I'm so close it feels in the same room   When I refocus I see it in contrazoom I feel I’m getting warmer and warmer I’m sure I have it trapped in the corner Please say still, please decide to stay But as I move half way nearer It remains half way further away It remains half way further away As I move half way nearer Please say still, please decide to stay I’m sure I have it trapped in the corner I feel I’m getting warmer and warmer    When I refocus I see it in contrazoom I'm so close it feels in the same room I will be closer still when I get through this door To follow it closer than any time before I give chase as it is not much further It’s dipped down an alley just around the next corner Like a ...

  Anyone who has watched Star Trek will know you can’t have your deflector shield on all the time as it will pull too much power from the main engine. Superheroes can’t keep force fields on for long as it weakens them. A castle’s ramparts will not withstand indefinite battering. The analogies go on and so it appears does urge to have a drink at Christmas. I had a drink on Christmas day. Dun dun dun der. I feel a little blasé about it now but at the time it was a defeat of sorts. I have no one to blame but myself and my overconfidence. If I had given up Alcohol because I was an Alcoholic it may be a different story. I may still be pissed right now but I gave up alcohol to seek and lead a better life for myself and those around me. I knew there would be pressures leading up to Christmas. This year there were less than normal. We were pretty much trapped in our houses and there was no Christmas party at work. However it is still the season of ethanol excuse engines, we even encou...

noun singular proper noun: Jib A little known alleyway or pathway that connects two existing routes. Limited commonality as it is only known and shared by a few.  To move in the most efficient manner through a busy city.              e.g. Let’s take the Jib behind Waterstones verb Verb: To jib,  e.g. “Hang fire I’m jibbing all the way” Origin Late 1980’s The Bradshaw Brothers       The bus heaved itself around the corner of Portland Street on its way to Piccadilly bus station in the cold late morning of Christmas Eve 1988.  It was laden with an elite squadron of lost souls primed to attack their town armed with the last paycheck before the big day. There was only one mission, to find something, buy it,  wrap it and stick it under the tree at home then allow some spurious bastard called Santa Claws to take all the credit. Looking through the poorly scribbled happy faces on an upstairs window of...

     You last found me prancing around topiary versions of giant smiling Pacman heads, throwing petals over my shoulder that transformed into butterflies before they hit the ground. I had spent a month and a half off booze and was convinced I would stay this happy forever in the pink cloud. Well you guessed it I didn’t look where I was going and ended up feeling like I had just walked off the side of a cliff. For no reason that I can pinpoint my mood changed and I was outflanked by sadness. The first day after posting th e last blog I felt a little numb. Things weren’t right but things weren’t bad. The second day three lots of exercise had only generated enough endorphin s to fill a gnat’s thimble. HITT training followed by an hour of yoga followed by a 25 mile bike ride. There was nothing. My superstition started to kick in and I thought by posting a Blog about how happy I was I had basically laid down the gauntlet to the universe to do its worse. And thank you the next ...

      There a quote it goes something like this “The minute you think you're over your addiction your addiction is doing press-ups”  This is effectively what they mean when they talk about the “ Pink Cloud ". The term is mainly associated with Alcoholics Anonymous and their legendary twelve step program. It refers to a euphoric state in the early stages of recovery when your mind becomes clear and the future looks bright. The effects of whatever you were taking is out of your system and you have stabilised your thoughts. The danger of the pink cloud is that it can mask actual recovery and can lead you to become complacent about the challenges you may face.   I am extremely happy now I do not think I am overselling it, but i f I did move through a more euphoric phase it was to do with the relisation I no longer had to make a decision about drinking anymore. Do you know how good that feels? It was such a bloody relief that I no longer had to listen to my own ...